BBF forever

First day of school and the longest they have ever been apart. When they saw each other they grabbed hands and told each other stories about their day. Sean (3) and Jared (5) - Best Brothers Forever

We got ice cream to make it a perfect day

from this humble cubicle I assume the position of Queen. My new job at The San Diego Foundation enables me to influence fund raising trends and philanthropy - bridging relationships between the community and this foundation - the 8th largest community foundation in the U.S. The San Diego Foundation distributes $400 million dollars a year.

Can I brag? They recruited me and I was their only choice. They did not interview anyone else!!

I'm honored and excited


So El Cajony

first of all - thank you dear readers for your patience as my butt has been kicked these past months from Breast Cancer recovery. I vastly underestimated how hard it would be. But enough of that already.

Here's the story.... In celebration of my friend Diane's birthday we spent all Saturday doing chick stuff including going to a total chick movie - the Switch. The only theater with decent showtimes that fit our sched was the Regal Cinemas in El Cajon. I am only a partial snob so I was game.

The service was terrible - to buy tickets and then at the concession stand.
(Jeez, how long does it take to scoop up popcorn and fill a fountain drink)

For the longest time Diane and I stood and waited behind this guy who had the biggest wedgie - I couldn't resist snapping a photo. this really doesn't do it justice by the way - it was a humongous wedgie.

Remember gentle reader, I am intrigued by people's weirdness.

You had to be there, but the guy behind us started laughing hysterically as he said really loud - "Wow that's cruel."


But that was the highlight of my Saturday - I know, there is some twisted sickness I have but hey at least I admit it.


More good news

just got my test results back early from Kaiser - No Cervical Cancer!!!! Oh, did I forget to tell you, the Docs were worried about that?

Now that I'm not such a tragic figure, I can move on to more lighthearted topics. YAY!!!



Here is how dull I am. I ate a single boiled egg to celebrate my cancer free diagnosis.

hmmmm, something wrong here.

clean and sweet

just saw my radiologist and I was pronounced breast cancer free! Wahoo



There is a real science to the shop and I am in the middle of that right now. First of all, I operate under the premise that I will not buy anything unless it fulfills two pre-requisites:

First - it has to be the most amazing and unique, the most fanciful or elegant of it's species

Second - Having said this, my shopping joy is greatly affected by the price. Not only does it have to be a real "FIND" but I have to get it at a bargain.

It's the bi-fecta of shopping and I don't mind telling you I go to ridiculous lengthts to achieve it. For Scotty its painful so he simply is resigned to hand it over to my able and diligent shopping stewardship.

I am in my heyday right now. I have a list. At a minimum, a new set of silverware and new towels.

Step 1 - shop at Target ....Check (found nothing)
Step 2 - shop at Ross, Marshall's, TJ Max and Tuesday Morning ....Check (found nothing)

now that i have eliminated the obvious sources (I refuse to go to WalMart or Sears okay?) I move upward

Step 3 - Shop at Norstrom' Rack - Eureka - found some but not all
Step 4 - Bed Bath and Beyond...Check (nuttin honey)
Step 5 - Kohls (YUCK - ditto)

Now that I have exhausted all my other options I have to move onto the mainstream stores and painfully choke on the cost of paying full "Retail"

MAYBE you can see why Scotty hates to shop with me..... Here is how he shops:

Me: Do you like this?

Scott: YES (he says before I say the last word of my sentence) now get it and lets get outta here.

SIGH - now you know why I need more girl babies around me - to share the shopping joy.



You probably know dear reader that I am a grant writer. In the world of money is a concept known as "cultivation". Its universal really, its about gaining the ultimate faith, trust and friendship of the donor so that when you make a request for funding, they don't feel a thing.

(Luke learned his Jedi-mind tricks from the cultivators of the world -- you will give me money. You will be happy to give me money -- you will give me a lot of money -- you wave your hand hypnotically in front of their helpless and glazed eyeballs)

I almost nauseate myself with my cultivation techniques.

Numero Uno Rule: don't EVER let the cultivatee know they are being cultivated. They need to believe with all their little weird hearts you only want them for a bff. (And unlike every other dirty rat in the world who only likes them for their money, you are the one and only sincere human on the planet)

So I am shamelessly cultivating the head program officer of a federal agency because upon his say so, he can grant up to $5 million dollars to a client of mine.


This week has been a cultivation break through between us bff's (let me explain the dude is over 75 years old and lives in L.A. - seen the guy twice in my life at grant meetings)

He just sent a text saying:

"Are you a good cook? Do you know how to cook a 3 pound tenderloin steak?"


Now we are getting to personal conversation and away from professional lingo and jargon.

Like a spider to a fly I am moving in - He will never know what hit him and I will get him to grant me the money.


But dear reader, when it comes to you, I like you sincerely...


san diego county fair

Am I getting old and cranky or is the San Diego County Fair the same old same old year after year? I mean aside from the weird food like chocolate dipped bacon, whats new? The same booths in the same location, the same exact products and the same plethora of smelly weirdos.

Even the food tastes flat and dusty.

Where is the joy I once felt by going to the fair?


smile for the camera

Its so funny that my grand kids (we call them the babies) can't smile for the camera except in
the most extreme Batman/Joker Smile.

The boys crack me up when they pose for pics

poor dumb bird

its something no one knows about because its so insignificant BUT hang with me, it will make sense in a minute.

When we were kids my parents bought us a Parrot (smuggled it out of Mexico)

We set it on a perch and fed it every day.. Every day it sat there and wouldn't eat or drink even tho the food was right in front of it's beak.

(Maybe it craved salsa and chips)

At first we were alarmed but after a few days we just thought -- poor dumb bird!

The inevitable happened. The bird croaked. Now when things happen to people that they bring on themselves I think to myself - "Poor Dumb Bird"

In Jan of 2009 I was hired to work for a retired NFL Player. We drew up a contract. He was to pay my customary rate of $100/hr. The guy called me every hour, he sent me 20 e-mails a day. He thought he owned me. After 4 months I presented him with a well deserved itemized invoice for $12,000 I thought he was gonna croak.

It's been over a year and he still owes me. Not that I haven't been asking nicely, then sternly. A few weeks ago I sent him a demand letter drafted by an attorney and I followed up with one last offer for him to pay me before we file in court (on Monday)

Here is his response (a college graduate by the way)

This is your last time pleace don't contact me anymire or I will fyle a law souit on you and your grate partner Chad. Lets see who can do the most draagging miss grant writer. Miss I promise to get you money. One thing im not, is sceered so both of you dumb ASSES fyle the soot and stop telking.



I know I am talking to myself - sorry for the long absence.

today I am celebrating the fact that I finished my radiation treatments Tuesday June 15 at 5pm. I splurged and bought these extravagant blue shoes from Anthropologie. I know blogs are supposed to be light and frivolous but I gotta tell you I been through hell these past weeks of radiation. If you only knew.....

Anyone who knows me even the slightest bit can pick out a classic pair of Rebecca shoes. Here are my shoe priorities:

1. Must have a bow
2. Must have a rounded toe (no disgusting pointy toed shoes- Bleeecchhhh)
3. Must have some type of heel (hey I'm short)

I'm so excited to click my heels - I envision a Sunday meeting where women SWOON upon the first sight of my shoes.

I almost feel perky!!!


Radiation day

Today is my first day for radiation. See this contraption??? Its called a Cyber Knife. Dontcha feel for the poor dorky medical equipment salesman trying to market that name?

Here is where I am going - my soon to be daily BFF's

and my Persian doctor who thinks I am young (compared to the old geezers he usually treats)

wish me luck


I've been to the Sundance Catalog website no less than 5 times - each time almost ordering this purse - its perfection.

(And that's saying a LOT since Aubry and I are both purse SNOBS)

hint hint - mother's day is coming up

another hint: catalog code SPR15 - gives you a 15% discount.


Sister Gladys

So today I and a few other volunteers got to serve lunch to Gladys Knight and the Saints Unified Voices Choir

Two things: First she is really a very nice lady and doesn't want anybody to fuss over her - I like that non-diva thing about her

Second - Her choir can chow down big time.

That's it, it was a nice day but the guy in charge kept checking on me to see if I was going to faint or something. I guess he thought I was frageeeelaay cuz I have cancer. I am so not!

Another day, another service opportunity


Cinco de Mayo

This is to add to my journal of continuing indignities associated with having breast cancer. The other day I went in for yet another consultation with yet another radiologist /oncologist. (At least this guy thought I was young) But when I took a look at the waiting room I could see why, all the other patients were over 80

Anyway, the "margins" issue with me continues to be iffy and I'm the last to know! My surgeon, Dr. Greenway and my oncologist and Dr Chen never told me that I still had questionable margins. My latest radiologist - a kindly Persian - Dr. Shirazi is the one who spilled the beans about my still having iffy margins and residual cancer cells that still remains.


Is this normal or what?? I have no idea. I just thought in my naive way that it would be lumpectomy, radiation and adios cancer.


But really, the last appt was right up there in the indignity - o - meter range.

I H-A-T-E-D the Cat scan experience. Maybe I was just crabby from being freezing cold and naked from the waist up with my hands over my head (you feel so vulnerable this way) and staying absolutely still for 30 minutes. Maybe I'm just crabificated in general. prob so

What does this all have to do with Cinco de Mayo? May 5th is the first day of my daily radiation 12 noon every day. Before you chomp down on your salad or big mac think of me being radiated at that very moment.

And thanks to all my good friends for running for me with my girl baby.



I am the undisputed Wizard of Hearts. I swear the computer is frustrated cuz it can't win. I am invincible, the master of all hearts strategy.

Just so you know....in case I challenge you to a game. be prepared to lose

on a lighter note

okay, the somber tone of my previous post was kinda sad. It drove me to put on my nightly "creams"

Here is the ritual of our house. About 9 pm Scott turns the channel to EWEST and starts watching old reruns of westerns. (they are so stupid)

This triggers my "creams" behavior - I announce to Scott, I am going upstairs to do my "creams"

Scott: Snort Snort, yeah go upstairs and do your creams (translation: get outta here and let me watch the Rifleman and Gunsmoke in peace will ya?)

My creams are symbolic of so much!

1.My quest for maintaining whatever shred of youth I might still have (I know I delude myself)

2. A ritual of self pampering - I collect "the creams" to a ridiculous degree. Gratefully I gave up on La Mer but still do prescription creams and indulge in expensive f aux creams by Lancome.

(now my girl baby is snorting over Lancome - she is a Dior snob)

3. And as you know I have invested in a lifelong commitment to doing Latisse. I indulge here and am not apologetic a bit over this.

Whatever, it makes me feel good - snort away, at least I'm not watching old black and white westerns.

Philosophy 101

I'm learning to let go and not be so controlling. Okay, so what that I lost a big client and a big fat paycheck? It worked out fine, since I wouldn't have been able to do the work seein as I just got sick. So enough of the kicking and screaming and more moving toward serenity and submission

(easier said than done)

I would've short circuited out mentally since failure was not an option and failure would've been a forgone conclusion given my bad health.

So I give up to the higher wisdom of the cosmic universe and hope that good Karma is on my side. As for now I am going to bed and curl up in a fetal position -- sniff sniff -- I feel sicky.

Two more days to radiation. Please, oh cosmic universe - look upon your hapless daughter kindly.

As for all you dear and gentle readers, send me your love mind rays cuz I feel wimpy and not able to fill the role of being the Queen and I call upon your woman powers to exert charity and love my way.



I just lost a grant writing opportunity with a major client that was going to save my bacon in so many ways. There goes 15K - 17K in income in less than 30 days. Wow that would've been a juicy hunk o' dough.

But lately I have been asking myself, why must I take on every responsibility and drive myself into a total tizzy?

I keep myself so busy I cant go to a movie or enjoy a meal. Its been my chronic pattern for years. Why do we women do it to ourselves?

My new resolution -- to take it easy.

Hmmm, maybe then I can allow myself to be sick on my anti-cancer drugs.


My girl baby is now a grown up

I am pleased to announce that my daughter Aubry is now an official grown up - scoring a sweet raise. That's what she gets for working so hard and being so good that people in the industry want to recruit her to work in their company.

How do you know you are a grown up? When you are publicly acknowledged as a significant asset to the industry you work in - so much so that you have multiple bidders for your service.


Cancer Considerations

I am honestly waffling between taking my anti-cancer drugs or not (because of the side effects) and trying to postpone my radiation treatments for as long as possible

It feels good to feel well and want to prolong and savor this nexus in time of good health and wellness.

Dang Cancer!

In my defense, lest you my gentle reader think I am nuts (easy for you to say) I did sign up for classes at the local

Personal Trainer, Yoga and Fitness Classes - here I come.


rocks my world

This is the drink of Kings - Its what you drink in the highest degree. Its not too sweet, its perfection and its only 10 calories (okay 25 for the entire bottle)

I am constantly on patrol for this drink in the 10 calorie flavor. Its tragic, I can't find it in the stores anymore ($1.49), nor can I find it at my old standby at Target (10 for $10!!!) . But the other day when I was with my girl baby in Rexburg I saw it at a Maverick --- 3 bottles for a dollar.

Sigh... I wish I had bought more but Aubry thought I was a big nut to buy 6. Now I'm out of my supply and I have to live on Crystal light.

(A limp replacement for the bliss of Vitamin Water - Essential )

Just whining - I can't help myself. Soon I am going to be on one of those TV shows about people with OCD. Mine is going to be Vitamin Water Essential.


Radiation Treatment

Look at this big scary deal. I start my radiation treatments on Tuesday April 27th 8:45 A.M. Just part of the continuing adventures of having Breast Cancer. My Oncologist said 1 of 7 women have Breast Cancer. That means a lotta you women out there are walking around like a ticking time bomb.

Just remember that you have me to lean on if you ever get "the news"

Bug Hugs and the left side only


VOTE Yay or Nay

Ok, look at my girl baby's hair. (in the greenish cardigan) Admit it all you in cyberland - she has superior hair. That used to be me but now I detect a few gray hairs.

Should I color my hair or not? I love Aubry's color but doubt I can achieve that dreamy color. Oh ye that have blazed this trail - what do you think?

Mangling the English Language

It makes me cringe when certain people say "He AXED me to....." I mean sup with that?

Did that grown up ever spell the word ASK - then have an epiphany that they were saying it wrong?

Along that same line I went to a fancy pants 3 day conference put on by the Department of Labor where presenters who were funded discussed the success of their programs.

A panel of grantees - all young (in their 20's or 30's) men of color - (I'm not prejudiced - honest, really truly - but it was a fact, how else can I say it?) were discussing their success with the hard core incarcerated.

Speaking on incentives - they discussed shall we say -- marital privileges. They called the process - REUNIFICATED. I almost laughed out loud. But of course I used my usual sophistication and restraint.

HA - from then on I used the ificated ending when I wanted to say something with HUGE EMPHASIS. Check it out:

I am from time to time:


Now that you know the game I am sure you are ificated from time to time.
Do share your ificated descriptor and join the ificated club.

Three Kinds of People

I noticed there are subsets of people. the lowest is depicted below - These are the people you see at K-Mart or the DMV. Oooh, its the worst when you are trapped between weirdos on both sides for hours - your number is 295 and they are currently serving number 64.

Next up are people you see at the airport - still kind of a weird assortment but you accept their quirky dishevelment - for all you know they are winding down from a 20 hour flight from Mongolia - and this is why they are sporting a big bad case of bed head. They have an excuse right?

next there are restaurant people. Some of you will disagree but generally I see restaurant people as a lot more refined.
People of the world - can you say full length mirror?


Being a Grant Writer

I have so much to say about my career but let me say a few things upfront:

No, I can't write a grant for you
No, I can't write a grant for you
No, I can't write a grant for you

I hear this all the time -- "oh you are a grant writer? Can you write me a grant?"

This phrase ties with the all time other phrase I hate:

"What, you haven't had that baby yet?"


Confessions of Bennion weirdness...no wait... we aren't weird ....you are

Some people are positively GOOEY over their pets.

Not the Bennions. Not any of us. Not even the ones that married into the family. We are all unified in our hate of animals.

In fact, Scott's nickname is "The Terminator" Just go ahead and use your imagination to figure out what that means.

I did like one pet...... Freddy the Pig. Actually we changed Freddy's name to LaTrina when we found out it was a girl pig after we a year when one of us got the courage to check.

La Trina loved to eat stale chips and I got a vicarious thrill out her ravenous hunger. She ate with such amazing gusto and had no guilt over her humongous gut. Sigh...If only I didn't care like LaTrina.

(Weird, tho, I took LaTrina to the Jack in the Box drive thru and she wouldn't eat her cheeseburger)

Sadly, LaTrina succumbed to the same fate as every other animal within the Terminators sphere of influence. Ask Scotty about the Pig story someday, it's quite the saga.

Anyway, don't be bringing your pets around, none of us care a single ounce for those poopy smelly animals. Sorry, we are all cold like that. Just live with it. Its not a character flaw, but a virtue.

More Bennion Weirdness

We Bennions defy convention. (Well...... I'm normal)

We have a secret ritual with all our babies.

All our babies get thrown around to the extreme.

Scott would stand holding a Bennion Baby and propel him/her through the air to my brother or some other man. Then each would take a step back to make the distance farther apart and toss again. We called it baby football and the object of the game was to see how far you could chuck said baby.

I am happy to report that none of my babies ever got dropped, but if real people ever saw Baby Football they would call Child Protective Services on us when they saw how far the babies flew.

The photo above is a variation of Baby Football - the Solo Toss.

I know its waaaay not PC but hey, look at how tough and fearless (Girl baby) my babies turned out.



Soon my son Trevor and his wife are graduating from BYU Idaho. Its a real treat to fly up to Utah and take a road trip it with my Best Baby Girl Aubry up to Idaho to share in the celebration of College Graduation.

I don't know if its just me, but I have had the most wretched times staying in accommodations (some places I wont even call hotels) when I travel. I never thought of myself as a princess (and the pea) but JEEEZZZZZ!

Here is what I have had to do in the past to survive the hotel mattress nightmare:

1. Dump out all my clothes and use them as padding including all the hotel towels

2. See if you can pillage seat cushions from a chair or a couch (if in the room)

3. Sometimes I bring a blow up pool floaty (no kidding) to sleep on. I tuck it under the sheets and voila!

If nothing else works I stay up all night watching re-runs of Law and Order or Forensic Files.

No amenities can compensate for failure of the bed!!!!



I started the day getting up at 5:45. I had to leave at 6:45 for an early morning meeting. Then on to another three hour block of meetings capped off by another meeting from 1:30 - nearly 2:30. at 3:00 in the afternoon I come straggling in hungry and tired.

People at work would never understand. They say, Rebecca, you need to have some "fun". In a sick way, this is my version of fun. Get ready for responsibilities little ones - my young readers.

This is your lot if you have any notion you will live your life in excellence.


Breast Cancer Update

Just a quick note to tell you all gentle readers that I got a call from my surgeon last night during American Idol.

He said it was a good thing I had the surgery cuz they found more cancer in the sample they cut out but the margins were clear and I am ready to move ahead with my radiation treatment. I have an appt with the oncology/hematology department on April 8th to get started.

Looks like its all a straight line to joining the ranks of so many others who can be counted as cancer survivors. Wow, I will have so much more compassion about this issue from now on.

I am ridiculously happy and thank you so much for the many of you that have shown your support - It has meant the world to me and my family.


Whats up with American Idol?

Usually weekdays sizzle with joy and anticipation - my life takes on new dimensions when I watch American Idol and it becomes a bonding experience for my girlfriends and other peeps who watch American Idol when we swap our stories about performances, clothes and the judges. Usually Scotty watches with me then snorts with disdain cuz he just has to display his testosterone by getting all puffy and huffy about how lame it is. (he secretly likes it but has to put on the show)

This year for the first time, (I feel like a missionary) I convinced several people to follow along. We even started texting throughout the show with our reviews of each performance.

BUT - what happened this year? How lame and dull its become!

I love to hate Simon (and always secretly agree) he is so delish in his dish. Can someone explain why Dorie (AKA Ellen) is a judge? What does she know about music? Do you all notice that when Randy says: "I don't know dog, it was a little pitchy dude, I didn't love it" that Ellen says, "yeah it was a little pitchy, blah blah blah, banana" Really now, like I am supposed to take her seriously?

This Bowersox girl is the only one that I look forward to every week. She is the reincarnation of Janis Joplin (how many of you little ones have ever heard of her) She is full of grit and reality and heart. She's fearless. Love that!

This kid Casey is okay but I just watch to see if Kara will make a total fool of herself again by turning to jello when he sings. I notice she is going out of her way to put on the ice queen persona when Casey performs. Too bad, it made me laugh to see her all squirmy but I noticed her husband showed up the next show.

Lastly can anyone tell me definitively (I need concrete proof here, not just your opinion) Is Ryan Seacrest gay?

I'm still watching but it isn't nearly as joyful. Sigh