2.16.2010

Fine art of being a girl

So believe me dear reader - it has taken me over 50 years to come to some conclusions about this "girl" situation we find ourselves in.

Basically it's this: We are almost always right and before we open our mouths to state our positions on everything, we weigh all the options and issues and make a very educated and thoughtful declaration based on fact and past experience - Am I right???

So when you are having a "discussion" with a man (usually here is where you have the prob) you are almost always right - cuz you wouldn't dream of taking any kind of position without multiple assurances that you are indeed right.

Hmmm though. Its a moral dilemma.

Take the incident referred to in my only girl baby's blog today about her penchant for broken bones.

Let me paint a picture for you.... My little girl is screaming in the back seat because she has a compound fracture and my husband is racing toward a veterinary office because he is unaware of the fact that it hasn't been an urgent care center for over three years.

I on the other hand being totally aware of my surroundings took note of the fact that the urgent care has been closed. I am frantically "discussing" this fact with Scottsy the Nazi -- pleading him to take us to the nearest hospital instead of wasting time going to and fro to the now defunct urgent care office. A closed vets office does us no good and times a wastin and the girl is screaming and wailing and gnashing her teeth.

(And yes, even crying her guts out!!!!!)

Do we do this? No of course, we go to the vets office (grrrr)

I could go on and on - as a woman, our lives are littered with these vignettes of unrequited "rightness"

So the dilemma is, how important is it to be right vs. how important is it to to rally for your "rightness"?

The process of rallying for my rightness has been an expensive proposition emotionally. Most of the time even though I am right, the process of proving I am right has caused friction in my most important relationships - with my kids (don't take drugs, that girl is a tramp, etc.) my husband (see above and then expand your imagination to include nearly every scenario known to mankind) and most importantly with a multitude of church men.

{That's the very hardest - when you are absolutely positively right and you are told - nope do it my way - and do it with no sass back sister- gulp, choke, barf}

My advice to you all.... take your rightness with a grain of salt and if it causes conflict (cept when you are mothering) stand back and let it go.

I find that my rightness eventually becomes obvious and it is so validating when others come to the conclusion you were right all along and they did it on their own.

As usual, I am totally right about this.....ha ha ha


1 comment:

aubry. said...

what happens when you think you're right, but i KNOW i'm right... like, when i'm trying to give you directions? you KNOW i'm usually right, right?