san diego county fair

Am I getting old and cranky or is the San Diego County Fair the same old same old year after year? I mean aside from the weird food like chocolate dipped bacon, whats new? The same booths in the same location, the same exact products and the same plethora of smelly weirdos.

Even the food tastes flat and dusty.

Where is the joy I once felt by going to the fair?

smile for the camera

Its so funny that my grand kids (we call them the babies) can't smile for the camera except in
the most extreme Batman/Joker Smile.

The boys crack me up when they pose for pics

poor dumb bird

its something no one knows about because its so insignificant BUT hang with me, it will make sense in a minute.

When we were kids my parents bought us a Parrot (smuggled it out of Mexico)

We set it on a perch and fed it every day.. Every day it sat there and wouldn't eat or drink even tho the food was right in front of it's beak.

(Maybe it craved salsa and chips)

At first we were alarmed but after a few days we just thought -- poor dumb bird!

The inevitable happened. The bird croaked. Now when things happen to people that they bring on themselves I think to myself - "Poor Dumb Bird"

In Jan of 2009 I was hired to work for a retired NFL Player. We drew up a contract. He was to pay my customary rate of $100/hr. The guy called me every hour, he sent me 20 e-mails a day. He thought he owned me. After 4 months I presented him with a well deserved itemized invoice for $12,000 I thought he was gonna croak.

It's been over a year and he still owes me. Not that I haven't been asking nicely, then sternly. A few weeks ago I sent him a demand letter drafted by an attorney and I followed up with one last offer for him to pay me before we file in court (on Monday)

Here is his response (a college graduate by the way)

This is your last time pleace don't contact me anymire or I will fyle a law souit on you and your grate partner Chad. Lets see who can do the most draagging miss grant writer. Miss I promise to get you money. One thing im not, is sceered so both of you dumb ASSES fyle the soot and stop telking.

POOR DUMB BIRD

I know I am talking to myself - sorry for the long absence.

today I am celebrating the fact that I finished my radiation treatments Tuesday June 15 at 5pm. I splurged and bought these extravagant blue shoes from Anthropologie. I know blogs are supposed to be light and frivolous but I gotta tell you I been through hell these past weeks of radiation. If you only knew.....

Anyone who knows me even the slightest bit can pick out a classic pair of Rebecca shoes. Here are my shoe priorities:

1. Must have a bow
2. Must have a rounded toe (no disgusting pointy toed shoes- Bleeecchhhh)
3. Must have some type of heel (hey I'm short)

I'm so excited to click my heels - I envision a Sunday meeting where women SWOON upon the first sight of my shoes.

I almost feel perky!!!

Radiation day

Today is my first day for radiation. See this contraption??? Its called a Cyber Knife. Dontcha feel for the poor dorky medical equipment salesman trying to market that name?

Here is where I am going - my soon to be daily BFF's

and my Persian doctor who thinks I am young (compared to the old geezers he usually treats)

wish me luck

I've been to the Sundance Catalog website no less than 5 times - each time almost ordering this purse - its perfection.

(And that's saying a LOT since Aubry and I are both purse SNOBS)

hint hint - mother's day is coming up

another hint: catalog code SPR15 - gives you a 15% discount.

Sister Gladys

So today I and a few other volunteers got to serve lunch to Gladys Knight and the Saints Unified Voices Choir

Two things: First she is really a very nice lady and doesn't want anybody to fuss over her - I like that non-diva thing about her

Second - Her choir can chow down big time.

That's it, it was a nice day but the guy in charge kept checking on me to see if I was going to faint or something. I guess he thought I was frageeeelaay cuz I have cancer. I am so not!

Another day, another service opportunity

Cinco de Mayo

This is to add to my journal of continuing indignities associated with having breast cancer. The other day I went in for yet another consultation with yet another radiologist /oncologist. (At least this guy thought I was young) But when I took a look at the waiting room I could see why, all the other patients were over 80

Anyway, the "margins" issue with me continues to be iffy and I'm the last to know! My surgeon, Dr. Greenway and my oncologist and Dr Chen never told me that I still had questionable margins. My latest radiologist - a kindly Persian - Dr. Shirazi is the one who spilled the beans about my still having iffy margins and residual cancer cells that still remains.

WHATTTT????

Is this normal or what?? I have no idea. I just thought in my naive way that it would be lumpectomy, radiation and adios cancer.

sigh!

But really, the last appt was right up there in the indignity - o - meter range.

I H-A-T-E-D the Cat scan experience. Maybe I was just crabby from being freezing cold and naked from the waist up with my hands over my head (you feel so vulnerable this way) and staying absolutely still for 30 minutes. Maybe I'm just crabificated in general. prob so

What does this all have to do with Cinco de Mayo? May 5th is the first day of my daily radiation 12 noon every day. Before you chomp down on your salad or big mac think of me being radiated at that very moment.

And thanks to all my good friends for running for me with my girl baby.

hearts

I am the undisputed Wizard of Hearts. I swear the computer is frustrated cuz it can't win. I am invincible, the master of all hearts strategy.

Just so you know....in case I challenge you to a game. be prepared to lose

on a lighter note

okay, the somber tone of my previous post was kinda sad. It drove me to put on my nightly "creams"

Here is the ritual of our house. About 9 pm Scott turns the channel to EWEST and starts watching old reruns of westerns. (they are so stupid)

This triggers my "creams" behavior - I announce to Scott, I am going upstairs to do my "creams"

Scott: Snort Snort, yeah go upstairs and do your creams (translation: get outta here and let me watch the Rifleman and Gunsmoke in peace will ya?)

My creams are symbolic of so much!

1.My quest for maintaining whatever shred of youth I might still have (I know I delude myself)

2. A ritual of self pampering - I collect "the creams" to a ridiculous degree. Gratefully I gave up on La Mer but still do prescription creams and indulge in expensive f aux creams by Lancome.

(now my girl baby is snorting over Lancome - she is a Dior snob)

3. And as you know I have invested in a lifelong commitment to doing Latisse. I indulge here and am not apologetic a bit over this.

Whatever, it makes me feel good - snort away, at least I'm not watching old black and white westerns.

Philosophy 101

I'm learning to let go and not be so controlling. Okay, so what that I lost a big client and a big fat paycheck? It worked out fine, since I wouldn't have been able to do the work seein as I just got sick. So enough of the kicking and screaming and more moving toward serenity and submission

(easier said than done)

I would've short circuited out mentally since failure was not an option and failure would've been a forgone conclusion given my bad health.

So I give up to the higher wisdom of the cosmic universe and hope that good Karma is on my side. As for now I am going to bed and curl up in a fetal position -- sniff sniff -- I feel sicky.

Two more days to radiation. Please, oh cosmic universe - look upon your hapless daughter kindly.

As for all you dear and gentle readers, send me your love mind rays cuz I feel wimpy and not able to fill the role of being the Queen and I call upon your woman powers to exert charity and love my way.

anguish

I just lost a grant writing opportunity with a major client that was going to save my bacon in so many ways. There goes 15K - 17K in income in less than 30 days. Wow that would've been a juicy hunk o' dough.

But lately I have been asking myself, why must I take on every responsibility and drive myself into a total tizzy?

I keep myself so busy I cant go to a movie or enjoy a meal. Its been my chronic pattern for years. Why do we women do it to ourselves?

My new resolution -- to take it easy.

Hmmm, maybe then I can allow myself to be sick on my anti-cancer drugs.

Nah

My girl baby is now a grown up

I am pleased to announce that my daughter Aubry is now an official grown up - scoring a sweet raise. That's what she gets for working so hard and being so good that people in the industry want to recruit her to work in their company.

How do you know you are a grown up? When you are publicly acknowledged as a significant asset to the industry you work in - so much so that you have multiple bidders for your service.

Horton

Cancer Considerations

I am honestly waffling between taking my anti-cancer drugs or not (because of the side effects) and trying to postpone my radiation treatments for as long as possible

It feels good to feel well and want to prolong and savor this nexus in time of good health and wellness.

Dang Cancer!

In my defense, lest you my gentle reader think I am nuts (easy for you to say) I did sign up for classes at the local

Personal Trainer, Yoga and Fitness Classes - here I come.

rocks my world

This is the drink of Kings - Its what you drink in the highest degree. Its not too sweet, its perfection and its only 10 calories (okay 25 for the entire bottle)

I am constantly on patrol for this drink in the 10 calorie flavor. Its tragic, I can't find it in the stores anymore ($1.49), nor can I find it at my old standby at Target (10 for $10!!!) . But the other day when I was with my girl baby in Rexburg I saw it at a Maverick --- 3 bottles for a dollar.

Sigh... I wish I had bought more but Aubry thought I was a big nut to buy 6. Now I'm out of my supply and I have to live on Crystal light.

(A limp replacement for the bliss of Vitamin Water - Essential )

Just whining - I can't help myself. Soon I am going to be on one of those TV shows about people with OCD. Mine is going to be Vitamin Water Essential.

EEEKS