{You have to disclose too- c'mon I wont laugh in front of you}
Number 1 - If you know me it all, its my preoccupation with EYELASHES. Ask me how I get FREAK of NATURE lashes -- Eyelashes that people stop me on the street about. Eyelashes to die for - Go ahead and ask. Its because I am so nutty that I do "Latisse" I could go on a "Latisse" mission - I tell everyone about it. Am I ashamed? Heck NO!!! I could generate wind power and conserve energy from batting my eyelashes.
If I were a super hero I would have eyelash powers. Blah Blah Blah
Number 2 - I have no discipline when I eat Chocolate. Hmm, I want some now! Rats, that's really bad - be back in a minute -- okay 10 minutes.
Number 3 - I watch Fat Shows on A&E like the "Manuel from Monterrey - the 1100 pound man" and "Obese Teenagers" and I always watch them even when I have already seen them 5 times before.
{I always watch that show Hoarders because they - the hoarders - are always fat}
One time Aubry and I stalked a super fat lady at Albertsons just to get a picture of her amazingly humongous butt on our cell phones. I mean you coulda served dinner on that shelf and she wouldn't ever know it.
And we weren't even subtle about it. Do you remember that Aubs?
Number 4 - And its not as interesting as my fascination with fat people - the church, work, personal life balance which is always out of kilter.
I have a lot more and maybe I will tell you, but it depends on how truthful you are with me.
It goes both ways all you out there in cyberland.
5 comments:
true, true, true. it's all true. i get phone calls from my mom at 11 pm asking me to turn on tlc for another fat show. i feel party responsible... i exposed her to "i eat 33,000 calories a day" and it's been down hill ever since.
Own it Aubs - you also introduced me to Manuel from Monterrey the 11,000 lb man and we discussed his love life with his skinny girlfriend.
ahhh...love your blog, rebecca! fun stuff.
aubry told me about your big news...you know...the cancer news. well, i am thinking of you. my mom had breast cancer a while back, so it's on my mind a lot. she fought, and won. i am so grateful for that. you can too!!!
go, fight, WIN!!!
okay, disclosure. we're all taking turns. i get this one from dad, and jen will attest to the truthfulness of this.
i am completely distracted by weirdos in public.
conversation comes to a complete stop. i try to fake it, but i zero in on the weirdo and all multi-tasking abilities are washed away.
i'm paralyzed in a weirdo-funk until i am physically removed from the situation.
i read words backwards. i can't stop. i read them forward, and then i read them backwards.
i hate whales. can't look at them.
just like aubry, i get the chills when i see things like water drops in the snow. i think it's a bunch of little things close together that gets to us.
i never feel full. i could soon be one of those fat people you ogle over.
i really hate lame status updates on facebook.
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