VOTE Yay or Nay

Ok, look at my girl baby's hair. (in the greenish cardigan) Admit it all you in cyberland - she has superior hair. That used to be me but now I detect a few gray hairs.

Should I color my hair or not? I love Aubry's color but doubt I can achieve that dreamy color. Oh ye that have blazed this trail - what do you think?

Mangling the English Language

It makes me cringe when certain people say "He AXED me to....." I mean sup with that?

Did that grown up ever spell the word ASK - then have an epiphany that they were saying it wrong?

Along that same line I went to a fancy pants 3 day conference put on by the Department of Labor where presenters who were funded discussed the success of their programs.

A panel of grantees - all young (in their 20's or 30's) men of color - (I'm not prejudiced - honest, really truly - but it was a fact, how else can I say it?) were discussing their success with the hard core incarcerated.

Speaking on incentives - they discussed shall we say -- marital privileges. They called the process - REUNIFICATED. I almost laughed out loud. But of course I used my usual sophistication and restraint.

HA - from then on I used the ificated ending when I wanted to say something with HUGE EMPHASIS. Check it out:

I am from time to time:

Crabbificated
Starvificated
Lostificated
Churchificated
Workificated
Beautificated
Sickifcated

ETC.

Now that you know the game I am sure you are ificated from time to time.
Do share your ificated descriptor and join the ificated club.

Three Kinds of People

I noticed there are subsets of people. the lowest is depicted below - These are the people you see at K-Mart or the DMV. Oooh, its the worst when you are trapped between weirdos on both sides for hours - your number is 295 and they are currently serving number 64.

Next up are people you see at the airport - still kind of a weird assortment but you accept their quirky dishevelment - for all you know they are winding down from a 20 hour flight from Mongolia - and this is why they are sporting a big bad case of bed head. They have an excuse right?

next there are restaurant people. Some of you will disagree but generally I see restaurant people as a lot more refined.

People of the world - can you say full length mirror?

Being a Grant Writer

I have so much to say about my career but let me say a few things upfront:

No, I can't write a grant for you
No, I can't write a grant for you
No, I can't write a grant for you

I hear this all the time -- "oh you are a grant writer? Can you write me a grant?"

This phrase ties with the all time other phrase I hate:

"What, you haven't had that baby yet?"

Confessions of Bennion weirdness...no wait... we aren't weird ....you are

Some people are positively GOOEY over their pets.

Not the Bennions. Not any of us. Not even the ones that married into the family. We are all unified in our hate of animals.

In fact, Scott's nickname is "The Terminator" Just go ahead and use your imagination to figure out what that means.

I did like one pet...... Freddy the Pig. Actually we changed Freddy's name to LaTrina when we found out it was a girl pig after we a year when one of us got the courage to check.

La Trina loved to eat stale chips and I got a vicarious thrill out her ravenous hunger. She ate with such amazing gusto and had no guilt over her humongous gut. Sigh...If only I didn't care like LaTrina.

(Weird, tho, I took LaTrina to the Jack in the Box drive thru and she wouldn't eat her cheeseburger)

Sadly, LaTrina succumbed to the same fate as every other animal within the Terminators sphere of influence. Ask Scotty about the Pig story someday, it's quite the saga.

Anyway, don't be bringing your pets around, none of us care a single ounce for those poopy smelly animals. Sorry, we are all cold like that. Just live with it. Its not a character flaw, but a virtue.

More Bennion Weirdness

We Bennions defy convention. (Well...... I'm normal)

We have a secret ritual with all our babies.

All our babies get thrown around to the extreme.

Scott would stand holding a Bennion Baby and propel him/her through the air to my brother or some other man. Then each would take a step back to make the distance farther apart and toss again. We called it baby football and the object of the game was to see how far you could chuck said baby.

I am happy to report that none of my babies ever got dropped, but if real people ever saw Baby Football they would call Child Protective Services on us when they saw how far the babies flew.

The photo above is a variation of Baby Football - the Solo Toss.

I know its waaaay not PC but hey, look at how tough and fearless (Girl baby) my babies turned out.

Beds

Soon my son Trevor and his wife are graduating from BYU Idaho. Its a real treat to fly up to Utah and take a road trip it with my Best Baby Girl Aubry up to Idaho to share in the celebration of College Graduation.

I don't know if its just me, but I have had the most wretched times staying in accommodations (some places I wont even call hotels) when I travel. I never thought of myself as a princess (and the pea) but JEEEZZZZZ!

Here is what I have had to do in the past to survive the hotel mattress nightmare:

1. Dump out all my clothes and use them as padding including all the hotel towels

2. See if you can pillage seat cushions from a chair or a couch (if in the room)

3. Sometimes I bring a blow up pool floaty (no kidding) to sleep on. I tuck it under the sheets and voila!

If nothing else works I stay up all night watching re-runs of Law and Order or Forensic Files.

No amenities can compensate for failure of the bed!!!!

Church-a-palooza

I started the day getting up at 5:45. I had to leave at 6:45 for an early morning meeting. Then on to another three hour block of meetings capped off by another meeting from 1:30 - nearly 2:30. at 3:00 in the afternoon I come straggling in hungry and tired.

People at work would never understand. They say, Rebecca, you need to have some "fun". In a sick way, this is my version of fun. Get ready for responsibilities little ones - my young readers.

This is your lot if you have any notion you will live your life in excellence.

Breast Cancer Update

Just a quick note to tell you all gentle readers that I got a call from my surgeon last night during American Idol.

He said it was a good thing I had the surgery cuz they found more cancer in the sample they cut out but the margins were clear and I am ready to move ahead with my radiation treatment. I have an appt with the oncology/hematology department on April 8th to get started.

Looks like its all a straight line to joining the ranks of so many others who can be counted as cancer survivors. Wow, I will have so much more compassion about this issue from now on.

I am ridiculously happy and thank you so much for the many of you that have shown your support - It has meant the world to me and my family.

Whats up with American Idol?

Usually weekdays sizzle with joy and anticipation - my life takes on new dimensions when I watch American Idol and it becomes a bonding experience for my girlfriends and other peeps who watch American Idol when we swap our stories about performances, clothes and the judges. Usually Scotty watches with me then snorts with disdain cuz he just has to display his testosterone by getting all puffy and huffy about how lame it is. (he secretly likes it but has to put on the show)

This year for the first time, (I feel like a missionary) I convinced several people to follow along. We even started texting throughout the show with our reviews of each performance.

BUT - what happened this year? How lame and dull its become!

I love to hate Simon (and always secretly agree) he is so delish in his dish. Can someone explain why Dorie (AKA Ellen) is a judge? What does she know about music? Do you all notice that when Randy says: "I don't know dog, it was a little pitchy dude, I didn't love it" that Ellen says, "yeah it was a little pitchy, blah blah blah, banana" Really now, like I am supposed to take her seriously?

This Bowersox girl is the only one that I look forward to every week. She is the reincarnation of Janis Joplin (how many of you little ones have ever heard of her) She is full of grit and reality and heart. She's fearless. Love that!

This kid Casey is okay but I just watch to see if Kara will make a total fool of herself again by turning to jello when he sings. I notice she is going out of her way to put on the ice queen persona when Casey performs. Too bad, it made me laugh to see her all squirmy but I noticed her husband showed up the next show.

Lastly can anyone tell me definitively (I need concrete proof here, not just your opinion) Is Ryan Seacrest gay?

I'm still watching but it isn't nearly as joyful. Sigh

Playing the Cut Up Card

Not that I'm whining (again) but during my past surgery I had a different kind of anesthesia. Instead of going completely lights out I was sedated then had a "local". I tell ya I was so sedated I couldn't protect myself or flinch when I could feel every stinkin cut. I even told my surgeon while on the table:

"Hey, I can feel that!"

But did they stop? Nooooooo

While it only lasted 30 minutes - that was a really long time to feel every slice of the knife.

This whole breast cancer thing is not easy. Now we have to wait and see if they got it all out this time.

Guess I will eat some more chocolate eggs.

California Snobbiness Dashed

A Big Fat FYI for those of you who live in Utah and other parts of the world, the residents of CA all feel quite superior as though we have a corner on progressive intellect and sheer cool factor. After all, do you out-of-staters have a Governator?

{okay, the states a mess thanks to AHHHNOLD}

Do you have beaches and hoity toity movie stars? Are you all "green" and environmentally conscious?

{okay, you Colorado peeps have us beat here}

So this is a reality check to all of us who have an inkling we are better than the rest. Is this a commentary on the size of our burritos, or the police force of Mountain View CA, or the fact that someone was pawing through the trash at Wal-Mart and confused a burrito wrapper for a receiving blanket? All equally as weird. Its a comfort actually. There are Dorks everywhere.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

When my daughter in law Lucy was fresh from from Russia she was first introduced to U.S. consumerism. You, my dear reader, simply have to experience the stark Russian shopping experience - weird little kiosks with assorted little junkables are scattered in random locations. Or you could patronize crusty and wrinkly little cigarette smoking babushkas with TV trays of trinkets. Finding anything in your size or to your taste could take months of random shopping. Grocery stores - HA. Shopping Centers - double HA!

The sheer plenty and variety here in the U.S. would blow a typical Russian citizen's mind. Don't even think of the mental overload a Costco trip would cause.

And now tis the season for sweets overload - oh wow - how I love this time of year. My good friend Diane Cartier knows me so well. Last week on the way to church we downed a half a bag of Hershey's milk chocolate candy coated eggs on our way to church. We had to wipe off our chocolate mustaches before going in to teach about "coping in hard times". (eat chocolate - duh!)

This is the time of year you can stock up on seasonal Easter candy!!! As we speak I have 5 bags of Hershey's eggs hidden throughout my bedroom in case the grand kids find one, I have 4 back up bags of chocolate eggs to sustain me.

Know this dear reader - I willfully submit I am in danger of being one of those fat people I gawk at. To make it worse, I am a candy hoarder!

Its really bad, I admit it - thank goodness this excess is seasonal. Yikes.

Breast Cancer Part 2

This time around (Thursday March 18th) when I go into more surgery I will be smarter.

This time I will simplify. Yesterday - out of sheer frustration for a complicated life I cut my hair to the nub. Well, maybe not nubby but pretty dang short. Not that I expect Chemo or anything, its just that its one step I can take to simplify my life. It looks cute (in the dark) Its actually pretty bad.

This time around I will accept peoples kindness - that pot of chicken noodle soup I made ahead got awfully boring after the third day.

This time around I will take it easy and not try to overdo too soon. Last time I was so anxious to get well, I got up too soon and paid the price.

This time I wont take so long to blog again! Sorry friends, its been really crazy.

Four more days till my next surgery. Lets hope and pray they get it all out this time.

My guilty admission

{A hoarder's refrig - one lady on a show said if it isn't moldy or bulging out of the container its good to eat, no matter how old the food is - its a miracle of modern science she survived I tellya}

So dear reader, I have to admit I always watch this disgusting show - Hoarders. Don't ask me what perverse sense of entertainment this satisfies - its tied somehow into my fascination with other poor unfortunates like Miguel of Monterrey AKA The Fattest Man in the World.

{Oh MY GOSH - This guy can find love at 1100 lbs!}

My husband thinks I am so sick, I can't help it!!!